How to be Happy for Others

Has it ever seemed like everything good was happening for everyone else except you? You are barely able to maintain your job, while others are getting promotions. You may be having family problems, while others seem to have happiness in their families. It can be very disheartening to feel that you must continually give congratulations.

Many people find it hard to have joy for someone else when they feel like life is not going their way.  I was thinking of the way that bitterness can fester within a person’s heart, and I tasked myself… what would be the key to becoming genuinely happy for others? I’m sure that most people who envy don’t do so out of enjoyment. No one wants to have bitterness and resentment toward their loved ones. 

Then one day I learned a valuable lesson from a friend of mine.  My friend was going through a hardship at work.  She told me that she has a friend who called her and told her that she just accepted an amazing job.  My friend said although she was initially sad because of what she was personally going through with her own job, she put it aside to rejoice with her friend.  She said that her love for her friend was greater than the fact that she was going through a rough patch.

I like the fact that she was able to acknowledge that she had bad feelings in the beginning.  When we act as if everything is ok, we are not able to fix the things that aren’t ok.  I also like the fact that having those feelings is not a mindset that she stayed in.  She consciously shifted her attention away from herself and onto the praise of her friend’s accomplishment.

Sometimes we act as though we must accept whatever comes to our minds, but we can shift our minds and be conscious of what we feed our minds.  Feelings may come to you, but you don’t have to act on them or from them.  Here are a few things that I think could help to shift your consciousness into a more positive outlook.

•  Understand that there is room for everyone

I think the first step is to realize that things can happen to you. When you have a limited mindset, and you think that because something happened for someone else that it won’t happen for you, that is the outcome that you will have.  Many times, the reason why people envy what someone has is not only because they have it, but because they don’t believe that they can also attain it. If you believed that you had the power to get what you want, there would be no envy when another person has it.

My friend was able to rejoice with her friend because she knows that not having the job that she wanted does not mean that she does not hold the power to access what it is that she is wanting.  She knows that a job will come along.  She knows that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

• Hold yourself accountable

Next, it would probably be best to take accountability. You want a loving partner, but you stayed with someone who you know has been using you for convenience and money for years.  Our lives are a reflection of the things that we have prayed for, manifested, and allowed.  Most things are not happening to us but by us.   Whose fault is that other than your own? You can only blame yourself. You entered a situation that is not likely to produce the outcome you want. You are not being proactive in changing your situation therefore it will not change.

If my friend wanted a new job but didn’t apply for work and just kept complaining; then it would be her own fault if she doesn’t find anything.  We must become aligned with the things that we want.  We must start preparing for them to come even before we can see their arrival on the horizon.  It’s not about seeing it happen it’s about preparing yourself in such a way that it has no choice but to happen.

• Start making yourself see the good.

Stop saying there are no good men. Start recognizing the good men that you know (even if they are only within your family.) Stop saying how you hate your job and start noticing the job openings. It’s may sound cheesy and simple, but a closed mind can’t even see what’s right in the forefront. Don’t let a negative perception of reality be the reason that you don’t succeed in the way that you want to 

My friend could have started telling her friend how the job will probably change, and the boss will probably be awful but what good would that do? Speaking badly about someone else’s situation would not have changed her own.  When you are able to start seeing the good in things, goodness seems to follow you.

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